Posts filed under ‘Jon & Kate’

Jon & Kate Take the Easy Way Out

gosselinenoughWhile listening to Jon and Kate Gosselin say over and over again in last night’s TLC one-hour special episode of “Jon & Kate Plus 8,” that they were both “thinking of the kids,” while choosing the divorce route, not once did I hear mentioned that they had been to counseling. “We’re doing what’s best for the kids.” Are you? Do you really think that your kids want to be from a broken home? The two of you are really going to spend all the holidays together with your kids… together? Really? How long will that last once you both start dating other people and want to include them in your holiday celebrations? How’s that going to work? Is having both your parents and their boyfriends/girlfriends all together in the same room at Christmas really what’s best for the kids? Sorry to get so judgmental, but I was very disappointed to not see what I had hoped the announcement would be last night: “We’re going to end the show to work on our marriage.”

Instead, we learn that divorce papers were filed yesterday, June 22, 2009. Done. Wow. That was fast. No couch time with Dr. John Gray? I’m sure he’d be more than happy to donate his time like so many other “sponsors” of the show have for such incidentals as hair plugs, tummy tucks, teeth whitening, all-out kid’s days at you-name-it theme park or zoo. Not even some visits to your Pastor? Maybe some of this did happen, but you’d think they’d mention it. Since the Gosselins’ have chosen to share their faith on their show and how it has guided them in raising their children, should it not be guiding them now in their time of family crisis? Kate has written two books quoting Biblical scripture throughout, sharing her beliefs as the basis for how they raise their kids and building a very wide and deep Christian following as a result. I am shocked that they are now not checking themselves when they most need to and asking “what would Jesus do?” Doesn’t the Bible tell us that our marriage is to be put first and foremost before our kids? As parents, we are to be a model for our children to follow and a strong foundation upon which our kids can flourish, feel safe and loved. Destroying that foundation puts at risk a child’s fragile sense of security in the world. I kept waiting for them to say they were in counseling to repair their marriage…  waiting… waiting… waiting… DIVORCE! It seems too quick. Too simple. Too soon. Please don’t tell me you are “doing this for the kids!” That phrase was repeated so many times it started to sound like an annoying jingle I then couldn’t get out of my head. Is this something you are both now telling yourselves just to “make it okay?” Please excuse me for making presumptions, but, now that you are both financially free and already have your own lives apart from each other, isn’t this really just the easy way out?

Have Jon and Kate become so much like every other Hollywood couple now that even their eight kids aren’t enough to keep them together? My heart went out to Kate last night who seemed to be the only one in the marriage who was interested in saving it. I usually put my dukes up for Jon, but after hearing he’s not even interested in talking about their problems, there is no more defending him. No matter how emasculated he has felt since becoming a stay-at-home-Dad and seeing his wife in the limelight (see prior post here), there is no excuse for walking away from a ten-year marriage and eight kids because you feel you’ve “had enough.” Yes, Kate is overbearing and sometimes even unfairly belittles you, but, man up, Jon! Walking away only confirms that you are as weak as you appear on TV. Being that you are only 32, it is still possible that you may one day grow up and realize the 20-something life you may think you have missed out on… isn’t going to bring you the fulfillment you are seeking the way living up to your promises, being an honorable and dedicated husband and father will. Hopefully, when that does happen, it won’t already be too late.

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June 23, 2009 at 5:02 pm 10 comments

Jon and Kate’s Final Curtain Call?

kateonpeopleYeah, I watched. But, I haven’t gone so far as to read any of the tabloids. I don’t know what the mystery woman looks like and I don’t care. What intrigued me as I watched the 5th season opener of Jon & Kate Plus 8 was how I could in an “Off-Broadway sense,” empathize with Kate, a woman who makes me cringe every time I see part of myself in her “Type-A Mom” personality. Intrigued, not because my husband has gone off and done something untoward (at least not in public) for which I can never forgive him (get over yourself, Kate), but because of the underlying role reversal challenges that the two of them hinted at, in between all of the innuendo of an alleged affair. Has anyone else caught on to this?

She’s now the breadwinner while he stays home with the kids and resents her for being away while wishing she’d stay away at the same time — loosely translated from Jon. Anyone else experiencing something similar who doesn’t also have eight kids, full-time staff and a major prime-time hit television show? Direct quote from my husband: “Men just weren’t made to do this.

Now, before anyone takes offense to this, of course there are some terrific stay-at-home Dads out there who can run circles around many of us Moms. But, please, let’s be real. Most Dads when put to the test aren’t going to last long at cleaning up after pre-schooler playdates, preparing three square meals a day, activity schedules, bath-time and just the general noise level of it all. Then there’s the housekeeping, grocery shopping, cooking, Dr. appointments and errand-running. Did I mention laundry? Now, most likely Jon doesn’t do much of this by himself; did I mention the full-time staff? But, he is used to being the provider, not the caregiver. To me, it was detectable throughout the interview that Jon just wasn’t comfortable staying home while Kate traveled earning a paycheck on her book tour. He quit his job to stay home with the kids, because “Kate can write and he can’t.” Ergo, if he could provide in that way, he would choose that role. Don’t underestimate the sense of pride and accomplishment being the provider carries with it, most especially for men.

The challenge for Kate, is to not be overly critical of the job Jon is doing when she returns home. And, if you’ve ever watched the show, you can just imagine how this is playing out. Kate has decidedly defined for all of America what a “hen-pecked husband” truly looks like up close and in his own natural habitat. While I pray that my husband would never describe himself as a member of the hen house, I empathize with Kate’s challenge. I find myself biting my tongue a whole heck of a lot more than Danny probably realizes, because I know he really is doing the best job that he can do. While we haven’t chosen our new roles, the parts we play are similar to those of Jon and Kate in that they require perspective on what is important as a family, not on who does what.

Has Jon finally had enough? Many of us have wondered when Jon’s breaking point would be reached. Is it possible that now that Kate is no longer in charge of her castle, the scrutiny she inflicts on Jon combined with a general distaste for the life he gave up for her has upset that delicate balance they’ve maintained through four seasons of TV-dom? It was clear at the end of last season, Jon was no longer on board with a public life. Has he made his final stand? I hope that family wins out on this one. In the best interest of those eight precious young hearts, I pray that the curtain is never called on this marriage.

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May 28, 2009 at 3:07 am 9 comments

A half-hatched role-reversal takes flight on a wing and a prayer.

Life is a misadventure mixed with mayhem.





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