Suffering from Second-hand Rejection

August 31, 2009 at 11:30 pm 4 comments


I never thought it would happen this early. But, I’m already suffering second-hand rejection issues on the part of my little girl’s heart. We all know there will come a day when our child is pushed out of a game of hopscotch or whispered about in the classroom. As we all were. And we’re prepared to wipe their tears, take them for a double-scoop ice cream cone with sprinkles on top and promise them that tomorrow will be better. But, at two? Oh, my heart! How am I going to handle it when she’s 12?

Now, I know at this age it is completely unintentional when one child shows disinterest in another, but the effect is just the same. I was there to witness the first gut-wrenching episode just a few weeks ago when one of Reagan’s little girlfriends whom she had been holding hands with decided she was done with hand-holding and ready to move on to something else. This caused Reagan’s previously blissful, candy-coated world to crack into pieces. She is BIG-TIME into hand-holding (one of the things I love about her). And, as soon as her friend let go of her hand, Reagan plopped to the ground, put her head between her knees and started to bawl. She then held out her own hand to her friend and began screaming “HAND! HAND!” Her friend looked at her in bewilderment as Reagan continued to gesture wildly with her outstretched hand, willing her friend to take it. I couldn’t seem to distract her as hard as I tried. She was determined to hold hands with her friend and the rejection was killing her. And… me.

The second episode happened at a birthday party her Daddy took her to. I heard about it later. There were many older kids there and Reagan was unable to keep up with a Ring-Around-the-Rosie game they had started, falling out of the circle. She ran into a corner, put her head between her knees and wailed until her Daddy came to rescue her. Twice in two weeks? How would she (I) be able to bear it?

The fact is, Reagan is already starting to learn that her desires can not always be met by other people. Nor, should they. There have probably been other occasions I’ll never know about. At pre-school, daycare or church. Whether first-hand, or by observation it is a lesson she will continue to learn until her last days. I can’t stop it. I just wish I could have delayed it a bit. Until say, her 30’s… when she starts dating too.

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4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Brandie  |  September 1, 2009 at 5:11 pm

    OH I am so with you on this one. Wait tell you have more if you are going to. It doesn’t get any easier I will tell you that ugh!! Motherhood.


  • 2. Aimee Greeblemonkey  |  September 2, 2009 at 9:45 am

    Tell her I am ready to come hold her hand again any time she wants!

  • 3. Alisa  |  September 29, 2009 at 10:38 am

    Honey, I hear ya! This is a very good topic to write about, and you’ve done it so transparently and humorously once again. Bravo! Reagan is blessed to have you and Danny for parents. Your awareness of God’s perfect plan for her life and your heart to guide her in that direction will take you far. Keep up the great work!

  • 4. Alisa  |  September 29, 2009 at 10:41 am

    What a darling picture of Reagan too, by the way!


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A half-hatched role-reversal takes flight on a wing and a prayer.

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